Dave Pelzer’s Story Of A Lost Boy In A Child Called It
The book being discussed in this paper is The Lost Boy by Dave Pelzer. This book is the sequel to his first book A Child Called “It”. Pelzer’s life story is one of the worst documented cases of child maltreatment. In his books he describes what he went through in his life as being abused by his mom. The book The Lost Boy is specifically about what he went through from the ages nine to the age 18. In the book he recounts what he went through when he was in the child welfare and foster care system. This paper will take a look at the bio-psycho-socio-spiritual perspective (Bostrom, 2005), present some of the problems and introduce potential solutions and interventions that could have been useful for Pelzer’s case worker as well as anyone that could have potentially helped Pelzer in that time of need.
It is apparent to anyone that has read any of Pelzer’s books that what he went through as a child was abuse and neglect. Child abuse and neglect as defined by The Federal Child Abuse Prevention & Treatment Act is, any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or an act or failure to act which prevents an imminent risk of serious harm (What is Child Abuse, 2003). According to that same article, there are four major types of child maltreatment; physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse and emotional abuse. Three of those will be discussed in this paper as it pertains to what Pelzer went through and talks about in his book.
The first perspective to the bio-psycho-socio-spiritual approach is biological. In the book Pelzer describes the time When he was taken to a hospital after he had been saved from “The Mother”. He describes how his body looked, “My legs and arms were a combination of yellow and brown. dark circles of purple bruises faded on top of fresh rings of blue bruises-where I was either grabbed, punched or slammed on the kitchen floor” (Pelzer, 1997, p.39). This quote describes the physical abuse that he went through. according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, Physical abuse is non-accidental physical injury (ranging from minor bruises to severe fractures or death) as a result of punching, kicking, beating… or otherwise harming a child, that is inflicted by a parent, caregiver, or other person who has responsibility for the child (2013). Pelzer also describes how both his mom and dad used to drink excessively. “Upstairs the battle begins. Since it is after four in the afternoon, I know both of my parents are drunk” (Pelzer, 1997, p.5). According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, Parental substance abuse is a risk factor for maltreatment and child welfare involvement (2014). Knowing this and knowing that Pelzer’s parents drink heavily it proves that substance abuse takes a part in child maltreatment. According to the same article the effects of parental substance abuse on children can be both indirect and direct (2014). and direct meaning through a chaotic living environment, which Pelzer was going through because he lived in the basement with no bed nor blanket nor pillow. direct meaning through physical or sexual abuse, which he was physically abused.
The next perspective to the bio-psycho-social-spiritual assessment is the psychological perspective. One major aspect of the psychological perspective is emotional abuse. as stated in the article What’s Child Abuse, emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s emotional development or sense of self-worth (2013). “Was it really mother’s fault? Maybe I deserved everything I got over the years” (Pelzer, 1997, p.47). This quote from the book shows how Pelzer questions himself and whether it had been his fault and if he had deserved everything that happened to him over the years. This ties into the concept that children often blame themselves, self-blame, for what they are going through. This is achieved by the perpetrator’s endless attempts to brainwash the child into believing that they deserve everything they are getting. This is probably the biggest tool the perpetrators used to abuse children emotionally and psychologically because once they have achieved this then they can let go of any guilt or remorse that they might have, if any. Another way that Pelzer was treated psychologically was by being neglected. As stated in the same article neglect is defined as the failure of a parent, caregiver, or a guardian to provide for a child’s basic needs. This was evident in the book because Pelzer would describe how his mother barely fed him anything and how he would either must steal food or search for food in trash cans. he was also not giving any clothes or showers, so he always wore the same raggedy, dirty clothes every day. another example for the psychological perspective is how Pelzer was so traumatized from being physically abused that every time someone would touch him, he would retreat. “I retreated into my protective position” (Pelzer, 1997, p.44). This shows how he always got defensive when it came to people touching him because in his head, he was ready for his mom to strike him. He would expect physical punishment every time he was touched.
The next aspect of the bio-psycho-social-spiritual assessment is the social perspective of looking at things. In the book Pelzer talks a little about his relationship with his dad. He says how his dad used to be his hero. “His job as a fireman in San Francisco, his years of drinking and the strained relationship with Mother have taken their toll on him. Once my superhero and known for his courageous efforts in rescuing children from burning buildings, Father is now a beaten man” (Pelzer, 1997, p.7). The man that he once looked up on is no longer his superhero. another relationship he had was with Ms. Gold, his social worker. From the moment that Pelzer met her he grew fond of her. He looked forward to everyone of their meetings. She was his favorite person to see in any given day. “She became my best friend. after school, whenever I saw her car, I’d Sprint down the walkway and burst into Aunt Mary’s home, knowing Ms. Gold had come to see me. We always ended our sessions with a long hug” (Pelzer, 1997, p. 47). In a way she became his Safe Haven. His person to turn to in times of need and the person he could trust. Although, at one point he did lie to her and hurt her. “I thought of how kind Ms. Gold had been throughout everything. I suddenly realized the terrible position I had just put her in. I never meant to hurt anybody, specially Ms. Gold” (Pelzer, 1997, p.59). This happened after they were having one of their talk sessions and Pelzer was feeling remorse for the pain he might cause Mother and his brothers. He started to tell Ms. Gold that he had made everything up and that he was lying. This made Ms. Gold break down in tears. Pelzer was having a conflict with telling the truth (Jones, 2006). even though she knew that he was the only child in the family being abused, Cinderella syndrome (Doyle & Timms, 2014), He still felt bad about telling people their “secret”. this way of thinking lasted all the way into his day of trial where he had a very important decision, tell the truth or lie and say that he made everything up. At the day of his disposition hearing (Jones, 2006), where the judge makes that decision whether the child will be returned home or be a ward of the court, placement decision (Jones, 2006). He decided to tell the truth after all which granted him his freedom he so deserved.
The last aspect of the bio-psycho-social-spiritual assessment is the spiritual perspective. Pelzer goes through many changes throughout the book. One big change that happened was leaving his home and being put into foster care. “What was once my sanctuary soon became a prison that kept me from playtime at my foster home” (Pelzer, 1997, p.81). This shows the change that is going on inside of him. He does not do view things the same anymore. His view of the world he wants lived in is changing (Doyle & Timms, 2014). Another big change in him was the need to be accepted by others, whatever means necessary. “I became a legend within the group. I was fully aware that what I was doing was wrong. I also knew that some of the bigger boys were using me, but I did not care. After years of isolation, I was finally accepted within a group (Pelzer, 1997, p.86). Being accepted by others became an obsession to him. All he wanted was to be accepted by others around him, to not be the outcast or that weird one, and he was willing to steal to be accepted. “I remember August 21, 1973, As my day on my bike. that day was the first time I felt that I was a normal kid, caught up in the splendor of a never-ending day” (Pelzer, 1997, p.107). This quote shows a huge change in him. For once in his life he is a normal boy. It also starts a new shift in his life where he slowly starts to develop a sense of worth.
In the book there are times where it is clear that the way things were handled were completely wrong and not helpful. One specific time was when Pelzer was taken to a psychiatrist to help him to cope with the change of being abused by his mother to being in a foster home. One would think that a psychiatrist would do anything to help the child feel wanted and understood. In Pelzer’s situation that was not the case. As soon as the psychiatrist entered the room where Pelzer was, he called Pelzer by the wrong name. Right off the bat Pelzer felt uncomfortable. He continued to call him by the wrong name the entire time they were talking, even after Pelzer corrected him several times. He also instead of first gaining the patients trust by talking to him about normal things and not diving in into the reason why he is there, he being with questions and comments like “Do you hate your mother?”, “Why do you think your mother beat you like that?”, and “You should hate your mother”. This way of approaching things with a child who has been recently been abused is not the right way to go about things at all. Children need to be approached with care and with the goal to gain their trust so they can slowly start to unease and talk to them about the traumatic events that they went through. Later in the book Pelzer is notified that the same psychiatrist has reported that he has violent tendencies and that he even tried to lash out against him, which was completely not true. This shows that even professionals that are in the business and are trusted by many to do the right thing can sometimes be a hinder to the betterment of a child’s life. One way to prevent this from happening again is to evaluate the professionals who work with children that have been abused (Strengthening Families). To make sure that every professional who is working with these children is fully equipped with the skills needed to talk and help these children. Another problem that is addressed in the book is the what society thinks about child abuse and how they consciously decide to not accept it as a problem. “You see, if the same people acknowledge-admit-a need for foster care, that means that they are admitting to a bigger problem of what got you kids into foster care in the first place. And that means admitting to things like alcoholism, child abuse, children who run away or get into drugs” (Pelzer, 1997, p.204). Pelzer’s foster mom tells him this when she is trying to warn him about getting put into a mental institution by his biological mom if he does not behave. The quote demonstrates society’s view of a bigger problem that people are too scared to admit to. Although, this problem has been reduced since then, it is still a problem people face. One way to prevent this or to help alleviate the problem by promoting child and family wellness, by creating public awareness and by creating supportive communities (Child Welfare Information Gateway). We can promote child and family wellness by educating families on how to treat children and the different parenting styles that there are, and which one is the best or has the best outcomes in the long run. We can create public awareness by having workshops around towns to inform people of the problem and to know what to do in case you witnessed or suspect a child being abused. We can create supportive communities by creating support groups for children and families who are going through abuse and for allies who want to help. Social media currently is huge way to get the message across. Almost everyone has either a cellphone or a computer with working internet service. Getting the message across about support groups and all the resources there are out there should not be too difficult. Facebook groups are becoming a great way for people with a common goal or interest to stay connected.
Conclusion
To conclude, in this paper we took at the story of David Pelzer and what he went through as a child and teenager in the foster care system. The bio-psycho-social-spiritual perspective was used to assess what he went through in those tough years of his life. Some problems of the child welfare and foster care system were addressed and were followed by some prevention options to avoid or help alleviate those problems in the future. Pelzer showed a great deal of resilience in how he managed things throughout his life. He did not let the fact that he was abused and his experience in the foster care system deter him from becoming a successful man in life. He persevered through all the obstacles thrown at him and managed to stay in line and beat the system in his own way. He does credit a few people for his successes and for saving his life. His book shows us how society views child abuse and some of the shortcomings of the system.
